For a long time now, I have been another person. Covered in the intense skin of a cynic, snapping off the branches of bushes as I walked by. Floudering in thoughts that were not my own, poisoned by the inexplicable thirst for acceptance. Spilling in glittering droplets onto the floor in desperation for a truth.
A million infinite pieces, within cells, within organs, within me, raise a fist to this tyrannical self deprecation. I tore through this veil, clawing and stretching plastic bags, for I was suffocating.
Oh God. The air smells so sweet, laced with the perfume of all who are around me. I inhale beauty. Closed eyes, oh gentle heartbeat, footsteps of a hundred people, each murmur a story concealed within, and locked away in a secret compartment, with a secret string, and a secret photograph.
Let me breathe the world in.
I love all the imagery you used here, especially the last line of the first paragraph. I'd say your experiment was a success :)
ReplyDeleteI like what you did here. My particular favorite was the first paragraph. My only criticism is that you shifted gears too quickly; I found the string of thought difficult to follow. I liked the image of the "intense skin"
ReplyDelete.... Agree with Chris. The shift was off, and when i mean "off" I mean, the image of you "freeing" yourself of the "intense skin" was kind of combined with "a million infinite pieces"...
ReplyDelete... in other words, to me, it seemed like a misplaced paragraph modifier.
well the glittering droplets was supposed to shift into the million pieces... and then you tear through the plastic to breathe. Its supposed to be happening quickly...
ReplyDelete