My first impression is one of sheer beauty,
Of warmth and comforting perfection,
Vibrancy and abundance of life,
Where the wind blows ever so gently
As it rips the tolerance from its surroundings.
The water turns still and lifeless
And all I can hear is the incessant drone of retaliation.
Now my touch is the closest thing to ice.
My teeth move uncontrollably to shatter something that isn’t there.
I hold myself tighter,
hoping that will stop this madness?
No.
With downcast eyes and broken breaths
You’d think I’d been crying.
But what reason have I for that?
I am numb and nothing more.
I really enjoyed this one, especially the last two lines and how the title ties in. The water and wind images really contribute to the buildup toward the ending, and I like the switch from violent motion to stillness in the first stanza. The isolation of "No," if a bit overused, is highly effective and even, one might say, chilling. Great work.
ReplyDeleteConnor made a pun. Ha.
ReplyDeleteBut really, a good poem. I preferred the latter half
Really good. The first stanza was my favorite. It seemed like you had a bunch of cuddly natural imagery and then bam! with the "tolerance" and "retaliation" woven in seamlessly. The "I hold myself tighter" was one of those lines that make me happy.
ReplyDelete