The sun appears magnificent when it
Arises in a brilliant blaze,
Eclipsing all else that would meet your gaze
Due to its warm bright light when it is lit.
But that star does not in one place remain –
In fact it is in constant speedy flight –
But for a moment giving you its light
Before it flies on, moving yet again.
But there is one that stands the test of time
For when the sun does set and night does dawn,
The sea remains in place, it carries on
With its sweet soothing sounds and looks sublime.
This flightiness is in the sun innate
As is the sea’s contentedness to wait.
I want to find a metaphorical meaning here but I'm struggling... It has a very conversational tone to it, especially compared to Aaron's works, which are rather more choppy... It flows well though...
ReplyDeleteExcept line 6 which I don't like... it could be written better and still keep the rhyme. But the consonance in line 12 helps make up for the failings of line 6.
This is A LOT like the other poem thematically. It does deal with a certain difference though, as instead of looking at the ocean's almost "logical" features, this poem looks much more intently at the static characteristics of the sea.
ReplyDeleteI think I understand its inspirations.
I really enjoy the way you establish the sea as almost a beacon to rely on as a constant . Often the sun is what people are told to look to for direction, but you turn that idea on it's head. Very well done.
ReplyDelete