Bash

 $ sudo fix my life

life: permission denied, permission denied

$ fix --force my_life

fix: command not found

$ process --quit "processing why"

why: returning error codes

error: codes written by user, cannot debug

$ echo $SELF

SELF: command not found

$ bash bash bash

bash: bash: command not found

bash: but aggression continues

$ velocity --age=35

warning: years.log too large

Large file detected: truncate? [Y/N]

N

N

N

(truncating anyway…)

$ BASH --head --against unmovable_object

object_permanence.exe: stopped responding

$ chmod 777 /future

chmod: changing permissions of '/future': Read-only file system

$ bash

$ bash

$ bash

#!/bin/bash

$ history | grep happiness

  2  happiness

 47  happiness

481  happiness

warning: 481 days since last match

$ right-click

right-click: command not found

$ refresh

refresh: nothing to refresh

$ ctrl-alt-delete

ctrl-alt-delete: no such keybinding

$ tar -czf me.tar.gz me/

me.tar.gz: archived

status: still executing loops

$ while true; do exist; done

loop: iteration continues

loop: iteration continues

loop: iteration continues

$ ping reality

Request timeout.

$ ping -T reality

Request timeout.

$ sudo ping reality

ping: Reality: host unreachable

$ man life

No manual entry for life

$ woman life

Very funny, but still no manual

$ help

help: help [-DMS] [pattern ...]

$ BASH --head --against immutable_constants

immutable_constants: TIME, DEATH, TAXES

$ open taxes.pdf

open: taxes.pdf: corrupted file

$ kill -9 $(grep aging /proc/*)

aging: Operation not permitted

$ modify --void root_access

error: no root privileges found

$ rm -rf /*

rm: remove everything? [y/N] y

rm: cannot remove '/': Permission denied

$ exit

There are stopped jobs.

$ exit

There are stopped jobs.

$ EXIT

THERE ARE STOPPED JOBS.

$ sudo shutdown -H now

shutdown: now is relative

warning: resolve path?

relative path or absolute path?

path: not found

$ find_self --infinite-loop

loop: while life; bash; end

loop: while life; bash; end