Do you try to defrag memories

Do you try to defrag memories

Overwrite bits and bytes

Spike bars and restaurants with poetry

Retold every place

Refold every space

Do you try to delete fate

Like you deleted my face

Do you try to defrag memories

Sort them into cities

Spaces of BNBs 

And related debris 

From the loosened sheets

And tourist streets

Do you try to delete complete 

Memories of my heartbeats

Do you try to defrag memories

Of entire goddamned states

From San Diego to LA

Up the coast and to the Oregon line

Fire fates and rocky eroded straights

To cities stuck in west coast time

Do you try to delete redwood pine

Sunlight shine through the vine and whine?

I defrag memories

Sit through them

Sift through them 

Booze through them

Recount them with a Venti

Plus a friend’s Hennessy

Claiming them for my own

My own thrown

Throne, groan and Moan 

Forget what you shown

Prone to the known 

Groan for my own 

Bemoan I sleep not alone 

I defrag memories

I overwrite them 

Overnight poetry books

Spite psychiatry nooks

Light ovary fucks 

Give the mirror dirty looks

Hook ropes around my neck

Wrecked by Canadian emo hooks 

I cannot delete them

Scum thrum dumb up

My rectum;

Slum drunk as alum 

They haunt me 

What have you done

I am overcome

Leave me mayhem 

I cannot defrag memories

My computer is split to pieces

Faeces and agile releases 

Acquit shit, acquit cock pit 

Cockpit, git comit 

Got vomit 

I’ve lost it

Do you try to defrag memories

Did you delete all traces of me

Do you see our history

Or is it consumed by entropy,

By dreadful destiny, by dead energy

By lengthy legacy no one gets to see?

By desperate density of parody?

Do you try to defrag me, memories

Unfinished Love Poem from March 3, 2019

You and I were the last on auld Doggerbank

Holding each other loosely by the fingers

As the entire world into the sea sank

Our souls the only two to linger

The waves crash, tremble, thrash

Our feet scrape and find firm sand

Rain and wind give us the lash

Our souls can last this dark night

On 

        .... but on the other hand...!

My mom keeps saying,

My mom keeps saying, I’ll get over it

But I don’t know how to

The last times I fell out of and back into

Love

Well, both those times were you

My mom keeps telling me to go out

And of course I do

I drink until i forget my

Love 

After all, drinking is how I lost you

My mom tells me to be patient, to wait

That darkness is a night to get through

But sleep is chased by thoughts of

Love

Haunted by tones of you

I dreamt

I dreamt

I dreamt you posted poetry

On that old website we all made

You read it to me

Love collapsed in an earthquake

Your voice in anger shakes

I wake, shaking

Gotta Go Fast

I lost you for the same reason
I lost my balance on that fucking mountain

Depression and anxiety
Free the body in turns
What was once adrenaline
       Over rocks and stone
       Over twigs and roots
       Over memes and phrases
Become adrenaline

Adrenaline
Adrenaline

Beautiful air
A lake and river passing
Bursting through the cloud

Adrenaline
Adrenaline

A little physical lesson:
you need the optimal speed to turn
Too fast
              the mountain has you
Too slow
              the drop pops you

When you fall the first time
Your hands get scraped
Blood pours out; the handle is red now
Your grip lightens
Anxiety heightens
Your grip tightens

You slow down;
Rocks rock you too fast
Stones stumble subtle
Twigs twitch terrible
Roots rock you too fast

Memes unmake memories
Phrases phase-out faintly

You slow down;
You're afraid of losing what you have
And that is when you lose it